26 June 2007

precipice

Inching closer to madness than ever before. And it's unlike anything that you've read. It doesn't fuel creativity. It doesn't foster random bouts of euphoria. It doesn't take you further away from reality. And it certainly doesn't manifest itself as uncontrollable facial twitches. Or loud singing.

It is a cold, odd feeling that you are indeed a duck. It is gripping. It hauls you deeper in truth. In negativity. In paranoia. It is haunting. It is depressing. It is milk gone sour. It is jealousy. A feeling of being replaced. It is when you can hardly get sleep. It is about midnight showers to wash off guilt. It is suicidal. It is a complete disregard for people. It is eerie. It is an intuition that comes off correct. It is a love for trash. Of self pity. It is an utter disregard for the norm. It is a desire to be touched. And a longing for a soothing voice that says, "It will all be okay. Breathe. I'm here."

6 comments:

meraj said...

man...i'm here and in your neighborhood!

on another note, you can try reading 'Tropic of Cancer' if you havent already.

Anonymous said...

Read something you wrote. Preferably, something you wrote a few moons ago. Doodles, sketches, incomplete comic strips, headlines, long copy, unintelligible copy...anything. I guarantee you'll feel much better.

phish said...

my favorite lies affixed on a softboard that is sacred. incomplete comic strips...that stirs an idea. feel like i almost know you :)

Smiling Dolphin said...

Duck is good. Try out this poem ...


Lost.

by David Wagoner, 1934

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here.
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen, it answers,
I have made this place around you,
If you leave it you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or branch does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

madelyn said...

It will be all okay. Breathe. I'm here.

phish said...

meraj - i will call. sometimes i am lazy.

aretha franklin - you left me wanting for more. your suggestions are eerie. and i am scared to listen to you. but i know i will. i always have.

dolphin - you are one. and you've made me feel a whole lot better.

madelyn - ...thank you.