i could, but i isn't. stories of a constantly-pained individual.

6/20/2009 08:48:00 PM


Posted by phish

No, it was of no use - I had not changed, and never would.
There was a soft spot in my nature, a strain of weakness, a
sensitivity that would never harden. All that I longed, and
had striven, to be - cool and stoical, detached and aloof, a
true Spartan - was beyond me. Marked ineradicably by my
singular childhood, by an upbringing in which too many women
had participated, I was, and always would be, the victim of
every sentient mood, the unwilling slave of my own emotions.

The last few lines of A Song of Sixpence by AJ Cronin, my most favourite writer in the whole world. Possibly because of these lines itself. It rains today. And I sit here trying very hard to shrug it all off and slowly, calmly collect the scattered pieces.


missalister said...

I see why you’re enamored! It is as if a mirror had been placed before you. And you are a handsome devil what with all of your private "failings"—your shortages and abundances of qualities being reversed—and you failing to see their attractiveness as your own ;-)

d.h.roark said...

strange. i am just back from hyd and i found an old cronin lying unread. picked it up for you if u don't have it.

Pooja Nair said...

I can SO see why you like these lines (and its author).

I would have beleived it if you told me that YOU wrote it! :)

Devil Mood said...

No one, I repeat, no one is more "an unwilling slave of my own emotions" than me! So don't you try and compete ;)

Mystique said...

AJ Cronin.....the Citadel?

haven't read much of his work, really. just a short story we had for class.

those lines, they'

errormsg! said...

yes, rainy days are perfect for playing with stubborn, asymmetrical jigsaws.

calmly, if you insist :)

Smiling Dolphin said...

strange..AJC was my grandmother's favourite writer too.

dharmabum said...

are we all enslaved in some way or the other, more by the mind?

how have you been?

Wyntey said...

long time no post ... did you move?

Churu Churu said...


Eve said...

If yr core spot changes...then it can only mean that it was never really there...though sometimes we are victims of our own projections...:)
enjoy the rain. especially when it rains in yr mind.

.Joy* said...

aw i like you blog :D
Don't know if you know me but you left a comment at one of my pics at flickr.
greetings =)

N said...

Waiting for your next post. It's been long since you've been trying to shrug it all off. Not done yet?